Wednesday, September 29, 2010

How I Became a Mom (or the Best Birthday Present)

I am a new mom. However, I am not your typical new mom. I did not have nine months to mentally prepare myself for motherhood. I didn't anxiously await the birth of a brand new baby.

I became a mother by accident.

No condom broke. I didn't forget to take my pill. I never had sex to have my child.

Best friends, family problems, physical abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, alcohol usage, drug usage, and poverty led to me becoming a mom.

My best friend, Brandi, and her boyfriend Rex were leaving to move to Massachusetts. Rex's younger brother was living with them at the time they were moving. He began staying with Rex and Brandi after his father kicked him out of the house for joining the church rugby team. He was living with an auntie when he began staying with his brother. After Brandi and Rex left, the boy moved back in with his auntie, knowing that he could call me if he needed anything.

In the first few weeks after Brandi and Rex left, I called the boy to see how things were going with his auntie. I took him out to eat a few times to check up on him. One day, I received a phone call. He called me and sounded very upset. I asked how things were going and heard, "not so good," as the reply. He then asked if what I told him about moving in with me was still true. "Yes," I replied. "However, I need to call your brother to see how he wants me to do this."

I contacted Rex in Boston. I found out that the boy grew tired of the drinking and drugging done by people at his auntie's house and returned to his father's house to apologize for disobeying him by playing rugby. His father responded like most would:

He grabbed nearly all of his son's belongings, took them outside, and burned them.

The next day, I picked Michael up from his auntie's house. In one hand, he carried a black garbage bag containing the comforter left by Brandi and Rex. In the other, he carried two small plastic grocery bags. Those two little bags contained what was left of Michael's earthly possessions.

Two days before I turned 25, my main focus was where I was going to party for my birthday and how drunk I was going to get.

The day before I turned 25, I took a 17 year old boy home and became a 20 something single mom of a boy I could not have physically given birth to.

The day before I turned 25, I became a Mom.

The day before I turned 25, my life changed forever.

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